Daughter dilemma?

God bless 13 yr. olds.... they keep life interesting. Here's the story. We are moving in three weeks. My daughter wants to move to her Dad's (out of state, in Colorado~ we're in Utah) when we ( the other four kids and I) move into the new house. However, every time the kids have had a visitation, I pick them up and they are wearing filthy clothes, have not bathed in days, are covered in dog hair, etc. At Christmas, my 7 yr. old told me that when Daddy's dog pees or vomits on the carpeting, Grama and Daddy just let it soak in. Obviously, I DON'T want her to move in with her father. So here's the question: How can I explain to her that I don't want her to move in with Daddy because I want her to be taken care of instead of neglected, and at the same time not sound like I'm grasping at straws, or just bashing her father? She keeps telling me that at 15 she gets to decide anyway, and her Daddy will take her to the judge to talk to him and get her way. I'm worried. Advice?

Daughter dilemma?

I have a 14 year old so I feel your pain. I would just tell her that you don't want her to live apart from all her brothers and sisters and that all of you would miss her too much. We just moved from Idaho to Virginia and my daughter hated it. I made the mistake of letting her go back and live with grandma. Even though she is well taken care of there it is not the same at all. We all really miss her and her little brother is growing up without her. Needless to say after this school year she is coming back whether she wants to or not. As far as her being able to decide at 15 who knows if her dad will actually follow through with going to court or not.

Daughter dilemma?

TALK TO YOUR LAWYER AND EXPLAIN THE SITUATION WITH HIM- IF THE TIME ARRIVES THAT SHE MAKES THAT DECISION MAKE SOCIAL WORKERS GO TO THE HOME WITHOUT HIM BEING NOTIFIED AND THEY CAN CHECK OUT THE HOUSE....IF THEY FIND WITHOUT A REASONABLE DOUBT THAT SHE WILL NOT BE TAKEN CARE OF THEN THEY WILL NOT ALLOW HER TO GO LIVE WITH HIM.

Daughter dilemma?

I agree, make sure your lawyer knows all the details

Daughter dilemma?

yes a lawyer for the 15 year old thing, but over that I would talk to the Father and tell him to quit making your life harder and quit disrespecting and underminding you when it comes to your daughter. If you have sole custody he would have to get a Lawyer to do the same on any kind of change. Your Daughter is lashing she probally does'nt even meen it. And ley her know the fact that you all could not live without her. you know Dad probally does'nt want her to move either and is feeding the flame or making her feel torn on Mom or Dad debate. I would talk to him then her and tell her that She is why you do what you do and You love her and her wishes but, just don't think it is a good idea and to give your way a chance before she wishes to go away. Plus if dad let's her do what ever when ever is probally why she would want to stay. I'd say absolutly no way hate me i don't care it is in the best interest of your daughter on your decision. Good Luck

Daughter dilemma?

Let your daughter go and see if she likes it. If you don't she will always resent you and that will just make her want to run to her Dad. Also, keep in mind, kids know how to play one parent against the other. They have picked up that you don't like how they look when they come from their dad's house, and your 7 year old has fed into that by telling you a story about when the dog throws up...try not having a negative reaction, or even saying "im sure they clean it up, maybe you just didn't see it happening." They will learn not to play you both against each other.